i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
