my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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