Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
