In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize