he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
