I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
