dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
