do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
