I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
