are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
