You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
