Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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