She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
