yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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