I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
