From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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