LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
