I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
