Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
