I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
