I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize