There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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