but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
