OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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