Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
