if i can run in heels then i can drive
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
That's how pantless uber rides happen
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
