glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
