Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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