Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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