So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
