We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize