"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
