I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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