My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You made out with two different species that night
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
