i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
