remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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