Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
