I accidentally had phone sex last night
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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