Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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