Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
