Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
