his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It was confusing and full of hummus
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Randomize
