Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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