You're completely useless in the revolution.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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