y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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