Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize