Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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