He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
my liver is dry heaving
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
