My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
