Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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