Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
