His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
