Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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