What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
