Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
