My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
we should paint friendship bongs
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
