i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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