How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
