i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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