is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
we're so committed to being not committed
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
