I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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