I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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